Slip...

I slipped up. I'm not sure why, because things seem to be looking up. New prospects of freedom and independence, and even positive vibes on the job front. I'm getting not only support from Minnie about Tori, but from other friends too. I've talked out problems with my living arrangements with Absynthe, and she agrees that it would be good for me to go and get my own place. But only once I'm settled in a job, and have some money behind me. Tori... well... Tori is wonderful. She makes me happy, and I care more for her every day. Things are looking up in all departments

This all leads me to wonder why I've started struggling so much. Is it me being self destructive, and trying to sabotage my own life? Sometimes I wonder if I somehow feel I don't deserve any success.

I honestly don't understand myself.

I wish someone could help me. But I know I'm the only one who can do that.

I'm trying to be positive, but finding it harder all the time.

This has to stop.