Dress sizes, surprises and fishtails..

'What about this one?' Gnomie asked, holding up a beautiful wine red evening dress.

'Oooh.... it's beautiful... oh... but it's a size 8' I respond, the disappointment tangible.

'I reckon it'll fit you. Come on, lets try it. I bet you it'll be fine.'

We walk to the fitting rooms, and I start to pull the dress on over my head. It sticks firm at my hips....

'see, told you...'

'no no, try stepping into it, it's a fishtail, so it's one of those ones that goes in and out and then back in again.' I giggle slightly at Gnomies comment, but proceed to pull the dress back over my head and step into it.

'please, please, please' I beg to the unseen fitting room Gods....

I breathe in, and it slips over my hips and settles.

Gnomie turns to me. 'Oh wow... that's gorgeous'.

'You think?'

'Absolutely. We have a winner'

I take a step back and smile gently, reveling in the moment.

It took me the rest of the day to stop gloating.... 'It's a size 8 you know...'

P.S.

I'll be updating now.... I promise....

I've been away a while...

Alot has happened in the last 10 months.....

I wont re-cap, as I'd be here forever.

Suffice to say, I've lost love, fallen in love, been broken, lost my job, lost myself... for a time... discovered my true friends...

But most of all, I've discovered myself.

Turns out I'm not as bad as I thought... Funny that.....

It's the waiting....

BlackDiamond has been away again this weekend.

He's a climber and a mountaineer. There's definitely something ruggedly exciting about it. The smell of chalk, fear and the elements that rouses such primal emotions.

But when he's away the seconds drag so slowly until the message tone rings out.

Just that tiny noise tells me he's ok and I can breathe again.

In Love

When you realise the simplicity of love, it is the easiest thing in the world.

BlackDiamond pulls away in his van. 'I love you too' he mouths...

That was when I knew today was going to be good.

Don't worry, be happy...

- Extract from a conversation with Me and Myself -

'Look, there's very little point in all this worry, if you can do something about it, do it, and stop worrying. If there is nothing you can do, there is no point in worrying, so stop anyway!'

'yes, I know that, but if I don't worry about these things, who will?'

'No-one. Shut up.'

The Feelings Vacuum...

Why is it that a decision can seem so right one day, and so wrong the next?

I can only assume that this is a test, or some sort of divine humour...

Also, is love enough? Even when you love someone so much that the thought of losing them sends you into a misery spiral for days... can it still be just 'wrong'?

Wrongness.... why is it so hard to comprehend...?

Tired? Who's Tired?

Sitting on my bed, surfing the net trying to find out what the name of the song from the wine gums advert was, Minnie calls from the other room. 'Are you going to get to bed?'

I reply 'No, I'm not hungry...'

Dark Times, and Good Friends

Sitting alone, and exhausted in my darkened room i reach out to distant friends.

Piskie is online. A recently discovered kindred spirit. A box appears.

'hey,'

A tiny word, but all the company I crave.

'Hi Piskie. I don't suppose I could see you sometime soon?'

'I can imagine so!' she says, lighthearted, but then recognises the solemn tone in my text. 'You alright Babe?'

'No' i respond 'Not really. I could do with a friend'

'Whats wrong hunny?'

I sigh at reading the last question I want to answer, but respond reluctantly. 'Everything. Absolutely everything. I feel like my world is collapsing and I can't hold the weight'.

A sad face icon is all I can see of Piskies sympathy. 'Tell me'.

I gulp back tears. My eyes burn with the effort.

'I can't. thats the trouble. It's all just...' I try desperately to articulate myself. To make this feeling understood and perhaps give someone the chance to help me. I fail hopelessly.

'It's all just.....wrong.'

Lady Luck...

So, we're munching our way through our 2nd course, and on being asked what she thinks of OB going to America, Taloola-May replies "Yes, I don't mind you taking OB, as long as he comes back in one piece". She sits for a moment, moving her paella around the tiny plate, "Of course, you've got to bring back my lucky dollar bill".

Fanny-F looks troubled for a moment. "what if we bring back a different one?"

"Or" adds Gertrude"what if we get to America, and they outlaw all one dollar bills and force us to burn them!"

Taloola-May puts on her 'as if' face and looks over at me. I giggle and shrug my shoulders hopelessly.

"That's ok" she responds, "I'll accept a Twenty..."

OB leaves for America tomorrow, along with Fanny-F and Gertrude. We (that is, Fanny-F, Gertrude, SugarPlum, Taloola-May, myself and of course, OB) decided to go for farewell tapas, and had only been sat down long enough to order our drinks.

"SP, Do you like Cinnamon?" calls Fanny-F across the table. I turn to SugarPlum, waiting on her response. She thinks for a moment, "um... yes....?"

"Ok, Have you ever tasted...um...." Fanny-F stumbles, "Cinnamon?" SP replies.

A wave of laughter washes over us, as Fanny-F gesticulates wildly and shouts "no no no!!... that's not what I meant..." our laughter fades to giggles, leaving the sound of Spanish guitar in the background. "What I mean is, have you ever tried Sailor Jerry's rum?"

Lighting fast, from the other side of the table, comes the voice of Taloola-May ..."She cried".

The joy of regression....

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=47594140081

I assure you..no students were harmed during the making of this video...

consider.....

'Theres nothing quite as satisfying as a lovely bit of alphabetising'

Nypherbell's gems for the day............

'Right Denise, you're not longer a man...'

Also ponderings on the scary perfume/makeup counter personnel gauntlet.... the race is on to avoid blinding sprays and impromptu eyeshadow.......

I feel we'll be hearing more from this feisty fairy......

So.... my Japanese name is apparently

Endou Natsumi

Which means 'distant wisteria picks vegetables'

apparently.....

A Lunchtime Thought....

Why is it that no one has yet invented a nacho that can withstand the full weight of a good mouthfull of chilli?

First Post

So... this is my blog.

I've been meaning to do this for quite some time, but an old friend has finally given me the motivation i needed.

I have a fraction of her talent, and highly doubt that anyone will read this, but hey, it's worth a try.

So...

This will be full of the beauty of random thought.

No structure... just inspiration and dreamy wonderings....